


Silver and Teeth

by ironicallyStupid



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Human Karkat Vantas, Humanstuck, Idk where I'm going with this one honestly, Kinda, M/M, Not rated bc I've got no idea what's going to happen next, There's going to be blood eventually obv, University AU, Universitystuck, Vampire Dave Strider, Vampires, Vampirestuck, more tags will be added in the future
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2018-12-24 10:26:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12010788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironicallyStupid/pseuds/ironicallyStupid
Summary: Both Dave Strider and Karkat Vantas are eager to get away from home. Ending up in the same place and coming from two worlds, opposite of one another, they're going to have to deal with the big amount of issues their meeting is going to give birth to.





	1. In Which Dave Loses His Shit

**Author's Note:**

> Before you start reading, these brackets [] mean that Karkat is speaking in Spanish, because I don't know a single word in that beautiful language.

“Satan speaking, how can I help you?”

“Unfortunately, Satan can’t help me, but I’m sure that if you switch to being Rose Lalonde, AKA my _friend_ , you might be able to.”

“Uh-oh. You used the F word. What’s wrong, Dave?”

Let’s backtrack a little.

Dave Strider freaking out, Dave Strider sensing that something is wrong, Dave Strider driving, Dave Strider packing, Dave Strider drinking something dark out of a tea cup with his sister, Dave Strider saying his first word–

Wow, that’s a _way_ older memory than we need and it’s super irrelevant.

The tea party sounds like a good point to start from. Take a moment to imagine seven year old Dave sitting on his legs on a long-haired reddish purple carpet. Rose, his twin sister, was crouching down and setting plush animal toys around them, each with their respective, empty tea cup and plate in front of them. The blonde girl finally seated herself down. She had her mother’s black lipstick smudged on her pale lips. She’s just a kid – make-up isn’t something she’s used to wearing. She liked how it looked on her mom, so she decided to try. Dave had insisted that he gets his lips painted too and Rose had been happy to comply. Now they really did look alike. There were only two differences between them. Dave’s light blue eyes had a red undertone to them, while Rose’s – a purple one. And the second – the girl’s straight, white hair was only a little longer than her brother’s.

Their appearance wasn’t important now.

The focus should be on the aforementioned thick liquid in their cups. Dave was more impatient than his sibling and had already brought it to his mouth. The taste had nothing to do with its red colour. He imagines grey or silver when he drinks something this metallic. Rose straightened out her leg and kicked his knee gently to remind him that he shouldn’t just down his lunch like that.

“I want to hunt for myself already.” Rose complained, but you wouldn’t be able to tell; her tone was completely flat.

“I don’t see why you’re being so picky. A, B, O, AB… I don’t care. They all have their own charm.”

“Type A is gross. Too thick.”

“I can’t hear you over how much I’m enjoying this.”

Food was very plain to them and didn’t please their palate. Blood, however… That’s an entirely different story. Their family is one of vampires. They were cape-swinging, sunlight-avoiding, immortal assholes, who threw hissy fits whenever they were annoyed. Yeah, but _no_. They more or less acted like your average human. And fuck those rumours. Vitamin D was important and they liked basking in the sunlight. Vampires were overpowered humans, who can’t die unless they were stabbed with silver or with wood, dipped in holy water. Most of them, which were civilized and could lead a normal life without anybody suspecting anything, had perfect control over themselves. Don’t expect a vampire drooling over some naked skin. It’s not a big deal. That kind of sounds like being so obsessed with your favourite food, that you must put it in your mouth every time you see it, and that’s fucking ridiculous. Perhaps vampires had been like that in the past, perceiving humans as unworthy of being recognized as creatures they can communicate with and seeing them as nothing but food. Dave doesn’t know; he hasn’t been around for that long. He’s merely eighteen. And since he’s eighteen that means that he has to go to university, right?

“Oh, my babies, I don’t want to let you go. What am I going to do without you?” A tall, slender lady was smothering her children with kisses and Rose was very obvious about how much she hated it.

“Probably get wasted and find yourself lost in the middle of a club, incapable of comprehending why you’re so dizzy.”

“Rosie!” Raquel swatted her arm and Rose huffed and hopped in the car, slamming the door shut without saying goodbye “…She has all the reasons to be mad, huh?”

Dave did too, but he felt too sorry for her to show exactly how he felt.

“Take care of yourself, ma. Call if you need help.” Dave threw the rest of their luggage in the trunk and turned to face his parent.

“If _I_ need help?” She snickered in that raspy voice of hers, which had been ruined by years of drinking alcohol like water “You’re… All grown up now. I guess you can afford to say that.”

“I’m trying to be a good son.” Raquel laughed again and wiped away a tear “You see, this right here ain’t something I like seeing. We’ll visit, okay? We’re not going to space.”

“Rose might. She’d do anything out of spite.” Dave rolled his eyes at his mother’s words “Can I give you a goodbye hug? Would that be too embarrassing?”

“I don’t know what embarrassment is.”

Rose didn’t talk to him during the whole ride. Not because she was angry, no. She was just… numb. Dave can relate. It felt wrong hugging somebody who has had so much trouble raising two good-behaving kids. She was a bad mother, but she did love them. The hours of silence proved to be just what they needed, because when they parked near the university, they had recharged their energy. Dave was blabbering on and Rose was looking around and noting things that impressed her out loud. They were taking the route of the arts, so to say. Rose with Psychology and Dave with Sound Design. They were both equally excited, but they had a way of containing such emotions. They liked keeping what was going on in their heads in, well, _their heads._ It was an awful habit that they were raised with and they were too used to it to know that there’s another, easier way.

And then there’s the opposite of the Stri-Londe twins. Karkat Vantas – passionate, hot-headed and all over the place. This young man was a little ahead of them, already unpacking in his dorm room. Coming all the way from Barcelona, he was here on a scholarship. Damn, he’s still not used to that seven hour difference. He wishes for death. A swift and painless death. He’ll explore the hectic campus tomorrow, when his head isn’t pounding and muting his thoughts. _How frustrating._ The reason behind the chaos on campus was because two universities were united in one place. There was the one for liberal arts, to which Dave was going to, and the one Karkat had been accepted in – the culinary academy. Getting a degree in gastronomy was Karkat’s dream. _But why America? There are plenty of culinary institutes in Europe._ The reason behind him travelling to an entirely different continent was simple. He wanted to get the fuck away from his family. Their jobs were _toxic_ to his life and brought him a lot of dangers he didn’t wish to deal with. Really, he just wanted to cook, not… Anyway, here he was, working on achieving his dream.

“[I’m not any safer, but this is still better than nothing.]”

He put his toothbrush in the little cup he brought with himself and placed it on the sink in the bathroom. His roommate is free to use it too. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. His eye bag game is strong. Brown irises stared back at him, framed by just as dark, long lashes. He had a wide nose (Perfect for boxing, he’d tell himself), a jawline you can cut yourself on, full lips, thick eyebrows, each of them pierced, and a tan that would leave one with the impression that he lived on the beach. Oh, and let’s not forget his messy, curly black hair. It has never been in a worse state. Awesome. What a great way to look in front of his roommate for the first time.

Speaking of roommates, there he was, in all of his perfect glory. Karkat had left the bathroom and found himself facing– Uh, somebody’s chest. He looked up. Good to know that there’s a head attached to his torso. Alright, Karkat wasn’t _short._ He was _average._ 170 cm is enough for him. This guy, though? He was _tall._ 188 and with the most elegant build Karkat has ever seen. He was nothing like Karkat, who was pretty stocky. He briefly wondered if there was a ballet program in this university. He found himself jealous of how neatly this guy’s hair had been combed to the side.

“Yeah, those are real.” His roommate was purposefully talking in a high-pitched voice “Eyes up here, please.”

Said eyes were rolled to another galaxy. _Oh, so he thinks he’s funny, ha-ha._ That’s not what Karkat needs. _Sleep, sleep, sleep._

“Introducing yourself would’ve done a better job at coming off as a decent human being instead of saying this in a… god-awful _banshee_ voice.” Karkat complained and crossed his arms, watching as the other took two steps back.

“Personally, I thought that I sounded cute.” He got silence and a very sharp, judging stare from the shorter of the two in response to his stupid little joke “I’m Dave.”

“Karkat” was the laconic reply.

That’s it. That was literally the conversation. Karkat then passed by Dave and proceeded to silently read through his schedule, sat on his bed. Dave turned around to look at Karkat and hope that he’ll sense his stare through his shades and go ‘what?’ or say something interesting. None of that happened. He was disappointed.

“Tired?” He inquired and proceeded to unzip one of his two suitcases, taking out his clothes to put them in the barely standing closet “No offense, but you look like the walking dead.”

Small talk. Make small talk. Small talk is an essential part of the process of breaking the ice between two strangers, forced to live together for a few years.

Unfortunately, Karkat didn’t seem to like making small talk with Dave. In fact, he didn’t seem to like _Dave._ Wow, that’s an incredible start. And here Dave was getting excited over meeting new people moments ago. This is not as fun as he thought it’d be. Not to mention, there’s this faint scent that has been bothering Dave ever since he stepped into his dorm room. What the hell is it? He’s trying to figure out from where exactly in this room it’s coming from.

“Great – you stated out the obvious. Bra-fucking-vo.” Karkat looked up from the paper he was holding and he narrowed his eyes in a warning way at Dave (He, unsurprisingly, did not take the hint.) “Yes, I’m _exhausted_ and I don’t have the energy to even say what I’m saying right now, okay? I’m on the verge of flipping the switch on autopilot and showing off my eloquence by saying only ‘uh-huh’.”

“Heh, that’s funny. I’m a Sound Design major. In that case, sleep isn’t going to be something that happens in this tiny household of two.”

Karkat groaned and stood up, grabbing a translucent package with a sponge inside it from his sack, along with his shampoo and shower gel. He mumbled to himself angrily in Spanish before making his way to the bathroom. Damn, he’s got an attitude on him. That could be fun. For now, though: investigation. Fuck, what’s that _awful_ smell? It’s kind of metallic, but not exactly. He stopped unpacking for now to figure it out. The scent appears to be covered by something. He should be quick about snooping around Karkat’s bed. There was nothing on it. What about under it? Is there room there? Now that he thinks about it, it smells like silver. Karkat might be into jewelry; he _does_ have piercings. That… That _can’t_ be it. There’s something else. He decided to take advantage of the fact that nature called Karkat. (Being a vampire can be really shitty sometimes, because he can _hear_ his roommate taking off his pants to pee. Jeez. At least he’s used to it.) Dave crouched down and looked under the bed. Three boxes. There was a fourth one behind them. Dave pulled it out and noted that whatever was hidden in it, was wrapped up in a big shirt. He’ll take a wild guess and say that it most definitely isn’t Karkat’s size. Dave quickly uncovered whatever was in there and cursed under his breath when his thumb brushed against something cold and stung him. Daggers. Silver weapons. All of them had been dipped in holy water. Fuck. He quickly shoved the box back in its original place and stood up, failing to see the pistols and bullets inside too.

“What are you doing?” Dave turned to face Karkat “Look, I already dropped my junk on this bed and I’m not moving it to the other one. If you really wanted to sleep here…” He trailed off and plopped on his bed while Dave cautiously moved to the other side of the room “Too bad.” He gave him the middle finger.

“I, uh… I’ll just… Go. You have fun sleeping.”

Karkat was too tired to notice the edge in his voice. He said something unintelligible and almost immediately fell asleep. Dave had to get the fuck out of here. Leaving the dormitory with the speed of light, he realized that he can’t stay there. Maybe he could ask to be moved. It’s either that or _death._ And no, he’s not talking about himself dying. He can handle himself. He’s a Stri-Londe. His family took pride in their long history of incredible combaters. There was going to be death. But that death was going to get to his new acquaintance. People like Karkat never gave up on coming after Dave’s head and the only way to stop them was by killing them. That wasn’t his favourite thing to do. However, it was necessary when his roommate was a fucking _hunter_. What the fuck is he going to do? He can’t live with someone like him. That’s dangerous. What if he finds out? He can’t just snap his neck. He’s going to get questioned and he can’t afford to get thrown in prison.

That’s how he got here, sitting on a bench in some random park and talking with his sister on the phone.

“I’m losing my fucking shit, Rose. That’s what’s wrong.”

“I figured that out already. You’re speaking with a thousand kilometers per hour. That kind of reminds me of you when you were in elementary school. Remember when teachers would make us learn poems and you always recited them too quickly to make sure that you didn’t forget them?”

“What? No, why the fuck would I remember that? Shit, can we get back to the point? You know. Me freaking out because I’m sharing a room with a _hunter._ ”

“Oh…” For a second there Dave thought that Rose was concerned for his wellbeing for once in her life “Then you’re sure to have dinner tonight.”

“I can’t believe you.” His sibling was laughing without a care in this world.

“Brighten up a little. Edward Cullen can do it, why can’t you? You _are_ a vampire.”

“I hate that you make Twilight references when you can be talking about all the other much better books you read.” Rose kept laughing over the phone “I’m hanging up–”

“And you aren’t going to ask how settling down went for me?” She sounded outraged, but Dave knew her well enough to know that she’s faking it.

“Fuck you, you were super unhelpful. I’m not calling you any time soon.”

“Goodbye, Dave.”

He shoved his phone in his pocket and sighed, resting his head in his hands.

“…What a way to start a new chapter of my life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this at 2 in the morning without thinking it through and now it's out here, on the internet. The time has come to start producing garbage ft. fictional people again.


	2. Bitching About Roommates

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mostly dialog. Focused on crab boy ft. a beautiful friend.

“I think that you’re overreacting.”

“I swear I’m not exaggerating! He’s a fucking creep.”

Kanaya Maryam arched a perfectly sculpted eyebrow at her friend, who was digging furiously into his lemon soufflé and mumbling to himself about how badly it was made. What a prima donna. And that’s coming from a future haute couturier. The lovely lady that was currently listening to Karkat’s rant was born and raised in this big city and Karkat couldn’t be gladder that he knew at least one person here. Her parents had moved from Liverpool before she was born, so she never got to experience what life was like there for the Maryam family. She was quite the sight to behold, really. She was absolutely stunning with high cheekbones, a pointy chin and gemstone-like jade eyes, contrasting against perfectly smooth dark olive skin. Her brown hair had been dyed in dark red and the vibrant colour her lips had been painted in matched it.

Karkat thought that he looked like a fucking gremlin next to his tall friend. Why are all of them taller than him? It’s the fucking hormones in the food, he’d tell himself. What’s important is that it doesn’t bother him anymore.

“I’m positive that he isn’t that awful. My roommate brought a guy with herself on her first day and kicked me out. She was lucky that I had errands I had to run or else…” Her expression darkened as she took a sip from her tonic.

“What a bitch.” Karkat snorted.

“Tell me about it.”

“No but really.” He placed his fork on the dainty little plate; at least this pastry shop has style “I’m pretty sure he was looking under my bed the day I moved in. Talk about a weirdo.” Kanaya’s eyes widened at that.

“Do you think that he–”

“I doubt it. How would he know what he’s looking for anyway? Plus, he would’ve called the police by now. If he had the balls…” He waved off the possibility of his roommate seeing his weapons “He isn’t a mean little asshole like what you have going on at your dorm room. He’s just… Damn, how do I describe him? He’s fucking _strange._ ”

“And you aren’t…?”

“That’s not what I meant! Okay, let me give you an example. He’s always sneaking around me and asking me the oddest questions. For instance, one time we were completely quiet, yeah? I was reading a book, trying to get my mind off that day’s classes, and he was doing something too. Uh, mixing music I think?” He suddenly straightened up in his seat and his tone grew angry “Woah, holy shit! Did I tell you that that asshole brought his fucking turntables? Now there’s almost no space. I can barely turn around in that dump. Ten by ten centimeters of me rotating between furniture, I’m telling you.”

“Oh, my…”

“ _Exactly._ God, I hate music students.”

“You’re getting a little sidetracked, Karkat.”

“Right, sorry. Where was I?”

“Telling me about how you were reading a trashy novel, I believe?”

“I’m going to pretend that I didn’t hear that if you take those words back.” Karkat glared at her, despite smiling, and Kanaya smirked and laughed “ _Anyway_ , suddenly, he takes off his headphones and asks me: ‘What’s your opinion on violence? Have you ever gotten into a physical fight?’ And I told him that if he doesn’t shut up, I’ll get into one right now with him and break his fucking neck for disturbing the peace in our wretched fucking dorm room. And then that asshole went: _Have you done that before?_ What the fuck?”

“Have you ever considered that he might be socially awkward?”

“Socially awkward my ass. He acts completely normal with that goth chick he brings with himself to the dorm from time to time. I usually go out whenever that happens.”

“Such courtesy!” Kanaya gasped and put a hand on her chest.

“Shut up. Look, what I’m saying is that he has some kind of problem with me. Whenever he sees me on campus, he fucking jumps. And when I approach him to talk, I _know_ that he’s sweating while rambling on and on about something completely off topic.”

“Karkat, I don’t know how I should tell you this, but…”

“But? But what? This better be about the butts we all know and love.”

Ah, yes. Karkat cracking jokes. Such a rare phenomenon and can only be witnessed from far away while he converses with the Kanaya specimen.

“You can be… A bit… Intimidating at times.”

It wasn’t the way he looked or his personality that pushed people away. It was how quickly he got angry. That could be entertaining at first, but blowing up so violently in somebody’s face is bound to tense them up and make them worry about whether he’ll get aggressive. And since they don’t know him, they might think that he’s dangerous. He has his issues, but all of his friends know well enough that he wouldn’t dare hit somebody if said person hadn’t shown any signs of willingness to engage in a fist fight. That shit just isn’t his scene.

“Intimidating? Wow, good one, Kanaya. Is that why all of my friends poke fun at me whenever they can? Damn, you’re right. I sure am one scary motherfucker.” He said sarcastically and scoffed.

“You were before we got to know you.”

“So you’re saying that you gradually lost respect for me? Nice. Good to know that I never lived up to anybody’s expectations for me.” Karkat huffed and put another spoonful from the lemon soufflé in his mouth “Ugh, I’m so disappointed. I was hoping that the taste would match the presentation.”

“When are you going to stop eating that?” Kanaya looked at the young man, smiling in amusement.

“I paid for this and I’m going to finish it…” Karkat trailed off and Kanaya said something, but he didn’t hear her “Speak of the devil.”

“What is it?”

“My roommate.” Karkat craned his neck and waved Dave over “Did he see me?”

“Who is he?” Kanaya turned around, her eyes searching for the ‘sunglasses, douchebag’ description Karkat gave her.

“Oh, yeah. He flinched. He saw me alright.”

“Karkat, who’s Dave?”

“The asshole fucking turned on his heel and pretended that he didn’t see me. What a pansy.” He scowled and made a gesture to one of the waitresses to give them the receipt.

They spent the rest of their afternoon walking through the smaller streets of town and checking out different street booths. Those were both Karkat’s and Kanaya’s favourite. It’s a win or lose, and nothing in-between when it comes to street booths. Either the seller is extremely annoying and can offer only ratty clothes with washed out colours or it’s full of pretty knick-knackery and books that would probably make their parents go ‘That brings me back’. Unfortunately, they couldn’t afford to stay out longer. It was getting dark and Karkat had the tendency to worry a lot. He knows that Kanaya could handle herself, especially since she knew the city perfectly. Plus, she was armed and ready with pepper spray and a knife her psycho ex girlfriend gave her. ( _Why does she still keep it?_ ) But Karkat couldn’t help himself. He’s an anxious guy and he’s allowed to worry about a close friend.

He wasn’t too keen on going back to his dorm room and fighting to breathe in a room full of tension. Karkat wondered if he could kill some time outside. Alone? He felt pretty relaxed after meeting up with Kanaya and now he was bored. And to think that he’ll have to return to his new, temporary home with _that_ guy… Not only is Dave weird, but he’s also really fucking messy. One month has passed and Karkat keeps finding this guy’s underwear _not_ in its fucking place. In the end, Karkat decided to make his way back to the dormitory with the speed of a snail, reluctant to return to the awkwardness and silence. Unlocking the door and stepping in, he found Dave sitting in the middle of the premises on the floor and cracking his thumb against a microphone. His laptop was on and next to him.

“What are you up to?” Karkat closed the door slowly.

“Homework. Workin’ on a project. Sound Design, remember?” Dave turned off his laptop and stood up to put that and his microphone away.

“I’m sure that you can already find a sound like that somewhere on the internet. Download it and don’t damage your phalanges, loser.” Karkat clicked his tongue and watched as Dave hurried to the door.

“You know what? I just remembered that I have to get some stuff from the supermarket.” What the fuck do humans even eat regularly? “Do you need anything?”

“It’s almost midnight and you’re going to shop _now_?”

“I know. I have a problem. I should be in one of those shows for people with manias.” Dave’s expression didn’t change at all after blurting out that dumb shit and witnessing Karkat’s ‘what’s wrong with you?’ expression “I can’t stop spending money on cow milk.” He cringed at himself for saying ‘cow milk’ instead of simply ‘milk’; can he get any more obvious? “I’ll be back soon.” Dave tried to walk past Karkat, but he got blocked by the smaller of the two turning around and locking the door.

“I don’t think so, Strider.”

“Using the last name? I must be in trouble.” He was calm, not worried on the exterior, but on the inside he was afraid of what he might hear.

_Did he figure it out already?_

“Fuck off. And by fuck off, I mean sit your ass down. You’re not going anywhere until you answer a few questions.” Karkat was growing impatient and the way Dave whistled in response irritated him further.

“So bossy. I didn’t know we were role-playing with different authorities. That’s kinky, dude. I had no idea we were at that stage of our relationship.” Karkat groaned and rubbed his face with one hand, pushing Dave, who was smirking faintly at his reactions, with the other.

“Before I proceed to address the issue at hand, I want you to know that I can’t stand you.” Karkat pointed an accusing finger at Dave, and the vampire seated himself on his bed.

“Duh, of course you can’t stand me. You can’t _stand_ me because you told me to _sit_ my ass down.” Dave’s infuriating smug little smile grew at the way Karkat put his hands up in defeat and went through a whole body twitch, as if he was having some massive nervous tick.

“ _You…_ ” He exhaled heavily and his shoulders slumped down when he sat down on his own bed too _“_ I hate you. I will kill you in your sleep with chloroform, I swear to hell.” He shook his head “Let’s stop evading the subject. I’m going to be straight-forward with you. What’s your fucking problem with me?”

“My problem?” Dave’s eyebrows shot up above his shades “I didn’t know I had a problem with you. Should I keep a list of my problems? Maybe then I won’t forget about my problem with you. See, I’ll even write you down first, because you’re special like that.”

“You know what I meant. I’m talking about you being a fucking cunt.”

“Are all of you Spaniards this crude?” It was yet another jest, but Karkat wasn’t in the mood for friendly banter.

“Dave.”

“Yes?”

“Shut up.” Karkat took off his sneakers and shoved his socks in them “Why do you avoid me so much? Look, I don’t want us to be best buds, alright? I can’t really see us drinking beer and talking about our wives in the future together.”

“That’s–”

“Don’t interrupt me.” Karkat warned him and if Dave wasn’t immortal and trained in combat, he’d be gulping in fear at the sharp look he was receiving from his grouchy foreign roommate “What I’m getting at is that we’re going to be living together in this shitty dorm room for around three years and you won’t be able to run from me every time we find ourselves in one place. So why don’t you tell me why you’re avoiding me? See? I’m trying to be a reasonable roommate. Try to do the same, for fuck’s sake.”

“It’s kind of hard to be around you, man. Your eyebrows are really threatening.” He grinned, all wide and toothy and the complete opposite of how elegantly he held himself.

Karkat wanted to pull his hair out from exasperation. Instead, he grabbed the pillow, which covered his pajamas, and threw it in Dave’s face. He did not think about the other’s inhumanly fast reflexes and how quick he was to throw the pillow back and aim with his own as well. Dave can’t believe that he’s having a pillow fight with a vampire hunter. He didn’t expect that. In fact, in his head, he was imagining getting warded off with crosses and painting this dorm room’s walls in blood. But this is… _So much better than his predictions._

At the end of this merciless war of throw and catch with your nose, Karkat and Dave were laying down on their beds, letting out the occasional chuckle at their own ridiculousness.

“I feel like a six year old kid.” Karkat mumbled, staring up at the ceiling; it was too dark for him to see it.

“It was your idea, dude. You seemed to be enjoying yourself so I had to play along.”

“You’re a dick.” Karkat yawned and he listened to Dave, who was chuckling quietly again “Not a word to anybody about this. Got it?” He propped himself up on one elbow and looked at Dave, whose face was being illuminated by his phone’s screen.

He was chatting with Rose. He must report this. And yes. He _is_ still wearing shades in the dark and Karkat wants to punch him for that.

“We’ll make a blood pact and swear on our lives to not mention this to anybody ever.” He said, while explaining to his sister exactly what happened, the hypocrite.

He’s lucky that Karkat doesn’t know what he’s doing or he really will die by being suffocated with chloroform. Technically, he won’t die, because he’s a freak of nature and being stabbed in the chest wouldn’t faze him either.

“You’re so stupid.” Karkat didn’t bother to suppress his grin in the dark “Blood is gross. Why can’t it be a tiramisu pact?”

“A tiramisu pact?”

“Yeah. We eat an entire tray of tiramisu to complete the ritual of secrecy.”

“…And you call _me_ stupid?” He put his phone away and rolled to his side, seeing Karkat’s silhouette clearly “So you don’t like blood. And here I thought that you’d enjoy cutting me into little pieces.”

“I prefer to cook with veal, thank you very much.” He shook his head and then decided to ask after a few moments of silence “Why would that even cross your mind? Are you paranoiac or some shit? Maybe you should see a doctor.”

“I wonder, would a shrink cure my fear of your eyebrows?”

“ _Oh, so your problem is with my eyebrows, huh?_ You’re practically asking for a second round.”

“Ready to get your ass kicked, bitch?”

This was an unexpected turn of events. Who knew that one could bond over pillows fights? Karkat felt more comfortable. Don’t mind his tough exterior. He’s a mushy, warm hurricane of emotions on the inside. Huh. His roommate may not be a complete nutjob. Awesome. Karkat feels so much more at ease. Dave, however, regretted putting his guards down. This was just a heat in the moment thing. He got excited that he’s with an interesting roommate for a bit. That won’t happen again. He needs to remember what kind of people hunters are and keep his distance from Karkat.

The next day, they’ll start from square one again: no progress and a disappointed Karkat.


	3. Self-care Means Eating Curry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dave is having a bad month and he finally gives into Karkat's unintentional niceness.

Finding food in a completely different town proved to be a bit of a challenge. Dave had a vague idea of when and where humans gathered the most and that little knowledge didn’t help him much. He had to make-do – follow his nose and instinct instead of a simple plan, based on consistent truths. His diet has been… _further_ _minimized._ It’s not like he was starving himself on purpose, but it certainly would be better for his health if he had access to a bigger quantity of blood. Vampires don’t kill when they hunt anymore. That means that they have to be much more cunning and careful about choosing and cornering the person they had selected to drink from. Dave normally knocked out his ‘victims’, drank as much as blood he needed, closed up the wound and left them somewhere without people who’d notice a passed out human. That worked well for him until he moved here. He couldn’t seem to get the hang of the dynamic of this city. He often had to go out late at night and hope that he’d stumble upon a drunken woman leaving a club without her girlfriends to come to her rescue. Some days he’d go to bed hungry and that wasn’t okay for a vampire who had to keep himself _sane._ Dave had the option to kill those humans by sucking out the life from them, but he couldn’t do that. He knew Rose has been having incidents such as those lately and she was very worried about the body count, she was leaving behind, growing. She didn’t have Dave’s steely control and that was for the best, to be honest. She has to _survive._ While Dave… Dave wouldn’t hurt a soul unless he was provoked.

Life wasn’t going smoothly for the Stri-Londe twins. Rose was sharing a room with a girl that made her extremely unsettled and Dave was constantly walking on his nails, so to say, around Karkat. The hunter hasn’t suspected a thing up until now, but Dave refuses to put his guards down. He could see that that was disappointing _and_ frustrating his Spanish roommate. He can’t do anything about it, though. He can’t risk it. He doesn’t want to die and he doesn’t want to take a person’s life. Not again, not ever. Some days, Dave wishes he was less merciful. Then he wouldn’t be hungry all the time. Rose might’ve been driven to kill for now, but at least she was getting the amount of blood she needed. Dave didn’t. If he was going to have less successful hunts, he should take more blood to make up for it, but he couldn’t. Vampires had gotten really close to humans for the last century. They speak to each other, they work together, and they live together. They shared this world and Dave couldn’t take the life of somebody who he saw as an equal. That was murder, no matter the fact that humans were vampire food.

“I don’t understand why you’re acting as some kind of sufferer for human kind. You’re not a martyr saint, honey, you’re a vampire. They _deserve_ death anyway. Vampires have never started any wars, have they? The less humans, the better. If you have to kill to live, then _kill._ You’ve done it before, you can do it again.”

His mother has never sounded crueler. Rose has told her about Dave’s little issue and now he was _forced_ to talk to her over the phone. Wasn’t his sister angry at her? Gossip does magic and overcomes all types of hate in the Stri-Londe household, it would seem. They _are_ quite the blabbermouths. He feels as if their need to out each other on the dumb things they do is the only thing that’s keeping this family together. Dave was grateful for having that at least. _Whatever it takes to forget that Raquel chose liquor over her own children…_

Animal blood was an alternative. But just like humans could buy a salad instead of a package of crisps, this was more or less the same. Animals were tasty, but really bad for him. They call it ‘junk blood’ like ‘junk food’. It was empty calories and could barely provide vampires with what they really needed. That’s what Dave has been drinking from the beginning he got here. He can’t believe that he’s falling into the cliché of every vampire protagonist in a movie for supernatural creatures. Although the difference between them and him is that he _doesn’t_ want to starve, because he’s not stupid. _It almost makes him want to rip a random human’s throat out to prove that he had nothing in common with those moronic drivellers._

…What the fuck did he just think?

He needs to get a hold of himself before it gets worse. Next thing he knows he’ll be feeling his own fangs shiver and tasting venom on his tongue. That is _not_ a pleasant flavour, yikes. Anyway, this shouldn’t be a big deal. Classes and the work he has to do for them have been keeping him very busy and he didn’t have the proper time for hunting. That’s… _Okay._ He’ll find a way to scrape through. It has only been one month. It’s natural for things to be a bit hectic in his life. Not to mention that he found himself a job and he was even busier. It wasn’t one which required him to stay in one place. He could do everything from his phone since all he had to do was update the social media of this new shampoo brand. (If there’s one thing he’s good at, it’s being active on Twitter.) His mom could’ve paid for all of his expenses, but both Dave and Rose refused to accept help from her. In her eyes, these kids were being stubborn just for the sake of it. And it was partially true, considering how mad they will be at her for fucking them up _forever_.

It’s interesting how Dave turned out. He wasn’t growing up to be the man the people around him would’ve expected. When he was a kid, he was more prone to resorting to violence. That’s normal, though; vampires couldn’t help it. Sometimes, they’d let themselves go and just stop… _Thinking._ It’s hard to explain since it’d be better if this was seen. For instance, something like that happened to Dave when he was nine, during his first hunt. His thoughts _stopped_ and he was moving entirely on instinct. The memory still makes him uncomfortable and especially disgusted. Disgusted because what he did back then was downright primal and he doesn’t want to fall to the level of an animal.

_His mind tends to push the memory of that day right to the back of his head for his own comfort._

He really did have the potential to become a dangerous vampire. Till the age of sixteen, Dave was predisposed to acting instead of thinking and Rose wasn’t always there to stop him from doing stupid things. He used to have this need for humans and vampires alike to fear him. It was worrying. And his mother didn’t do a damn thing about it. It was one big mistake, which managed to tame his wildness. That was the cost of grabbing his hand and pulling him to walk in the right way. The shock of the incident made him more careful and afraid to hurt humans. He was an incredible fighter, but it was unlikely to see him lose his cool anymore.

Tired from his search, Dave was returning to his dorm room. There are always too many people in one place. He can’t do anything with so many witnesses around. He’ll have to skip classes tomorrow in order to have more time to hunt safely. He doesn’t like taking risks. Not if they’ll lead to pointlessly spilt blood. A somber look took over his features and that made him seem as if there’s something seriously awful tormenting him. Behind the thick lenses of his shades, Dave’s droopy eyes looked more tired than Karkat’s when he first met him.

Speaking of Karkat, he was talking over the phone with family members of his own too. He has been ignoring their calls for a whole month. That resulted into a very loud, very angry conversation with his brother and father. At some point they started screaming at each other without listening to the words that were being said.

“[No, I don’t want mom to come here! Tell her to give her fucking ticket to somebody else for an excursion or something.]” Karkat’s phone was pressed between his ear and shoulder while he was furiously stirring his curry.

“[Do you have any idea how worried she was? She thought that you had died! You better come back here the first chance you get!]” A gruff voice ordered in a demanding tone; ‘control freak’ must run in the family.

“[Dad-]” Kankri, the eldest brother tried to cut in, but Karkat didn’t let him.

“[Tell her I don’t miss her then! Maybe if she hates me she won’t bother crying.]”

“[Take that back, you piece of shit!]” Klaus, the head of the Vantas family, lowered his voice as a warning, but that didn’t scare his youngest son.

“[Karkat, I really think that you should mind your wording and put into consideration calling us more often. Just a hello, I’m okay or I’m not okay would be enough. Mom is worried sick. Contact her tomorrow and calm her down, _please_. It would mean the world to her-]” Before Kankri got to finish what he had to say, the door to the dorm was unlocked and swung open, revealing none other than the man of mystery, Dave Strider.

“[Listen, Strider is here. I’ll blow that bastard’s eardrums if I talk with you psychopaths in his presence.]”

“ _[Strider?]_ ”

“[Yes, Kankri. My _roommate._ ]” Karkat poked his head out of the tiny kitchen and eyed Dave, who spread out on his bed almost lifelessly “[It’s so sad that we’re brothers. You know why? Because you’re slow.]” He hung up after hearing some more yelling, pulling the phone from his ear and turning off the stove burner to move his curry to the one, which was cool “Well, well, if it isn’t phantom-man.” He greeted once he was standing in front of Dave’s bed.

“I didn’t know you had a brother.” He suddenly said and Karkat was surprised to get an answer from somebody who has been refusing to talk to him for another week.

“Maybe you would’ve if you weren’t so fucking hell-bent on avoiding me like a biology test by a fake-sick student.” He didn’t get a reply so he continued “I didn’t know you knew Spanish.”

“Only a few words.” Dave rolled on his side with quite some efforts “I had a lot of free time as a kid.” He sounded tired and Karkat immediately noticed, because Dave normally didn’t sound in _any_ way with his emotion-lacking voice.

“You look like a fucking pile of misery.”

“Thanks.” Dave stared blankly at Karkat before saying that.

“Real talk time.” The smaller of the two crouched down so he was on the same eye level as Dave “For the one month and however fuck many more days we’ve been living together, I haven’t seen you once, not _once_ , eat or drink anything.” He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes “Are you _okay_?”

“…I gotta go.” Dave sat up and started getting ready to leave “I forgot to do something.”

“Sure you did.” Karkat grabbed the other’s shoulder and made him sit back down, which wasn’t difficult with Dave’s exhaustion “I made chicken curry. I hope you don’t mind some spice.” He headed over to the kitchen while Dave laid back down on his bed, sighing, defeated “And lose the shades. You can’t hide how tired you are from me. I invented sleep-deprivation and inconsistency in self-care.” He called out and Dave was too distracted by his own ponderings to say anything more than:

“That sounds hella unhealthy.”

Dave’s sure that Karkat had a sharp quip to reply with, but he was really dizzy and wow, fuck, why is there so much useless noise being perceived from his ears? His head was going to explode. He wishes he was human. Then the chicken curry would do the trick. Human food was worse than animal blood, but it does succeed to lie to his brain that he’s putting something in his body if he hasn’t eaten a lot of it in the past. Thankfully, Dave wasn’t super enthusiastic on the topic of human food and could count the times he has eaten it on his fingers.

“There you go, Dave.” Karkat mumbled to the vampire once he was back with one plate, trying to sound as less demeaning as possible.

Dave attempted to concentrate on the space between Karkat’s eyebrows to calm himself down. He could hear his roommate’s heartbeat and the blood rushing through his veins, and he wanted nothing more than to feel his flesh warm up his fangs. Dave was staring at Karkat meaningfully, taking the plate with one hand and grabbing his roommate’s wrist with the other. His gaze moved to the veins on the inner side of the wrist.

Karkat ripped his hand away.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t burn myself badly.” Dave didn’t know what Karkat meant, but while the vampire was lost in thought, he failed to hear Karkat hissing out in the kitchen, presumably hurting himself with the hot pot “Eat your curry, weirdo.”

Silence fell upon them as Karkat kept an eye on Dave, who was eating something that had the taste of wet carton. He could _smell_ the ingredients and guess what the food might actually taste like to humans, but his taste buds didn’t want to register the real flavour. Karkat is a gastronomy student and Dave felt bad about not being able to appreciate what he can do. He can see he’s good. The other looked confident in his skills and the food _does_ smell amazing… _Great_ , now he’s getting all cuddly with his good old friend _guilt_. Despite Karkat’s penchant for being overall nasty to everyone, including himself, he has been nothing but nice to Dave and hasn’t suspected a thing yet. For fuck’s sake, Dave was on the verge of sinking his teeth in his wrist a few minutes ago. Talk about oblivious. Perhaps… They should start off fresh. Dave will look past Karkat being a hunter and take his very blood-sucking secret to the grave. Karkat’s right. He can’t keep avoiding him.

“How is it?” There was a note of impatience in his Spanish roommate’s voice.

“Perfect.” What else could he say?

“Oh, come on. Be a little more specific.” Karkat was clearly unsatisfied with Dave’s _detailed_ review.

“Why the fuck are you cooking at this hour in the first place? I know you’re a gastronomy student, but damn. That’s hardcore. You’re next level.”

“I’ve made people call me Chef Vantas in bed.” He grinned, and it wasn’t something that came naturally to him.

Dave could see it and he could relate. Still, it was nice to know that he could do more than frown.

“Haha, holy shit. _No way._ ” Dave allowed himself to chuckle and Karkat joined him with his own raspy laugh.

“I’m just pulling your leg. Anyway, I cooked this now, because I won’t be able to make us anything good for two more days and I decided to supply us with curry.” His smile had faded and Dave was contemplating something.

_It was about time he stopped being so scared of everything._

“Look, man. I’ve been a dick lately.”

“I’m glad you noticed, but you’ve been a dick from the _beginning_.”

“Fuck you. You’re no flower yourself.” He rolled his eyes and pushed the chicken around in his plate, his hunger dulled “I was _trying_ to apologize.” Karkat sat down on the cold-ass floor and looked at Dave expectantly, urging him to go on with an ‘uh-huh’ “There’s this concert that’ll be taking place next week and I’ll be participating too. Techno stuff and some hip-hop will be happening. If you like dancin’, maybe you can come and I can show you a good time.” Wait, shit, that sounded suggestive as fuck and even Karkat ‘Dense’ Vantas caught on that “It’ll be fun.”

“I don’t know, Dave…”

“It’s a thing my class organized for free.” Karkat was hesitating; he didn’t feel comfortable dancing with people he didn’t know “There will be beer.” He offered “And you can bet on it that no one’s going to be checking ID cards.”

“Why would ID cards be checked? I’m an adult, dumbfuck.”

“Uh, you’re eighteen.” Dave pointed out and they didn’t say anything for around ten seconds.

“Oh! Oh, fuck. Right. USA laws. I’m already beginning to miss Barcelona.” Karkat made a show of sighing dramatically “ _Fine,_ I’ll come.”

“Rad.”

“Eat your curry and go to sleep, loser.”

_Dave took the risk._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a super boring chapter, but I couldn't just skip to the fun part of the story, you know? I can't do that shit. It had to be written-- it was /crucial/. Also, it's 01:30 and I really don't want to know how many errors and repeated words I have, lmao.


	4. Karkat Refuses to Pull A B-Rabbit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat and Dave reveal in what they suck at.

6:00 pm.

The concert starts at 6:00 pm, but Dave told Karkat that they’ll begin at 6:30. It’s an artist thing, he said, and Karkat pointed out that in the _culinary art_ , he’d get fired and humiliated if he was late. He didn’t like how Dave replied to him with a ‘that’s rough, buddy’. No, it’s not rough. It’s _fair._ Nobody likes waiting, especially Karkat, and he makes sure others don’t wait for him.

The main problem about this situation is finding someone to go with to Jeans-Falling-Off-People’s-Asses Town. Kanaya doesn’t have the time to go with him so she declined his offer. He pleaded for her to accompany him over the phone. Unfortunately, it turned out that she was busy.

 _“Karkat, I_ **can’t** _. I’m really sorry. I’ve been having trouble with my Fabric Design teacher and I_ **need** _to impress him this week.”_

_“Bullshit! Everyone likes you. You’ve got this… Likeable aura, plus the talent.” Karkat was convinced that she simply didn’t want to get tortured by music she wasn’t into._

_“Just because I dress better than you, doesn’t make me the best designer in the world.” There was a pause and a tired sigh, and Karkat regretted doubting her, because he could hear the exhaustion in her voice “I’m not lying. I’ve been struggling with this class from the very beginning and this is my second year.”_

_“No, it’s okay.” He rubbed his forehead “I get it. I’m sorry I blew up. I’m just desperate to go with someone I like instead of choosing from my limited list of two.”_

_“Ahh, so there_ **is** _another person.”_

His conversation with Kanaya forced him to call a fellow freshman. Said classmate happened to be a fidgety, awkward and incredibly clumsy Mexican guy, who has gone through the same embarrassing punk-rock phase as him. Karkat doesn’t enjoy talking to him that much because he’s slow with replies and Karkat’s too impatient to wait a hundred of years to hear an apology. Granted, he _is_ the master of chicken, however. Karkat would love to read a book of 100+ chicken recipes, written by him one day, but he can’t see him succeeding in the cruel world of gourmet cooking. Chefs kill themselves over Michelin stars. Fuck that, they kill themselves over _mistakes._ He wonders if he’ll end up going that crazy. Anyway, point being, this guy wouldn’t survive under the stress. Karkat can imagine him working in smaller restaurants. Not because he wasn’t good enough, but because he didn’t have the balls to do more.

What’s important is that Karkat has somebody to go and be out of place with at the concert. In addition, he gets a ride too. Sweet. He doesn’t know how to prepare for this. He didn’t have specific taste in music. He just listened to whatever was on the radio, often singing along, off tune, while making dinner. So he wasn’t super into that particular genre. What about dancing? Do people dance while listening to somebody deejay? Back in Barcelona it wasn’t a rarity to see small groups of people dance, sing or play instruments here and there in the streets. (He’s not saying they pop up fucking everywhere. That’d be weird.) His best friend would often join them, ergo dragging him along too. It was fun. For tourists. Yes, keep videoing this, strangers. After all, this is _such_ an attraction _._ Who _cares_ about la Sagrada Familia being just behind your backs?

“You gonna come along with me or what?”

Dave was buckling his belt when he asked that, since he spent his entire day at the dorm in his underwear. Karkat wishes he could afford to laze around all day like him. Lucky asshole. He wouldn’t be able to do nothing for more than an hour, unless he’s sleeping, if he tried. He isn’t good at relaxing. Little did he know, while he was having classes, Dave was hunting. He should’ve skipped classes earlier, because all it took him was a bit longer than usual to figure out where to hunt safely in the city. He might have to do this around two more times in order to be completely confident in finding food.

“You could walk for all I care. All I’m offering is a ride since we’re in the same direction.” Dave was quick to add, glancing one last time at his turntables before stepping towards the door; he was going to be using someone else’s since he wasn’t going to be making the music on the spot – it was already done and that’d be fucking impossible.

“Ugh, _Dave._ You don’t have to be so awkward about it, seriously.” Karkat opened their tiny wardrobe and took off the shirt he has been wearing all day, gripping the furniture’s only wing while wondering what he should throw on “I was wrong. You aren’t psychotic. You just suck at basic fucking human communication.” Dave would’ve been offended if he wasn’t so relieved about Karkat not reading his behaviour as vampiric.

“At least I don’t smell like a walking kitchen.” He shot back and leant against the door, watching as Karkat poked his head out of a grey three-quarter sleeve shirt.

His… _Friendly acquaintance_ came back twenty minutes ago from a long walk throughout the city and has been dying to rid himself of the ‘walking kitchen’ top ever since he got here. But once he did, Dave immediately took notice of the thin silver chain with a Cancer sign dangling from his neck. He gulped. Holy shit. It was a small thing, not particularly harmful to Dave, but knowing what it was made of and why it was chosen was a little intimidating. Who knows what Karkat could do with this? His mother once told him about a friend of hers getting stabbed in the eyes with a decorative silver figurine by some vicious hunter.

“Bite me.”

Dave snorted.

 _Don’t tempt me,_ he thought.

“Well? Yes or no?” He asked in a louder tone so Karkat hears him after moving to the bathroom to comb through his hair with a little water “Weren’t you taught to not keep beautiful people in suspense?” A sly grin tugged at Dave’s lips and Karkat couldn’t believe his roommate could be so awkward, yet still try to be smooth.

“I barely see you without your shades and that has led me to think that you’re ugly as fuck.”

“Nah. I’m just afraid of making people feel self-conscious.” Dave sighed and picked at his nails.

“You talk big. It’s time you shut up. Anyway, I’m going to have to pass. I’ll be taking someone with me.” Karkat got out of the bathroom and went to get his phone from his bed to text Tavros Nitram “Here’s another reason for me to not come with you – I’m not going to wait an eternity for you to start your show. I’d rather be late.”

“Smart choice. I’ll see you there, Vantas.” Dave saluted him mockingly and Karkat waved him off.

He waited for him to leave to exhale heavily and rub at his forehead tiredly. It’s a week day. From where do these music students get their energy to organize a concert? And for _free_. They must all be hyperactive. There’s no other logical explanation. From where are they going to get the beer? Dave said it was illegal for their age to drink. Karkat’s beginning to regret leaving Spain. He could’ve endured his fate as a hunter. The Vantas name wouldn’t have gotten him killed early if he stayed in Europe. He was trained for this.

Karkat’s thoughts were interrupted by his phone buzzing. He has never been so thankful to see a text from anyone ever. One more moment of pondering over his disastrous life would’ve driven him insane. He opened up the message from Tavros, informing him that he was fine with him coming over to his dorm. Karkat does enjoy the silence, but he might as well get to know this guy a little better and put some effort into making friends... Or whatever. He stuffed his phone in his back pocket and wondered whether he should take his wallet. Anyone could rob him if the crowd’s big. No money then. He opened the wardrobe once more to grab his burgundy zip up hoodie, deciding to not risk catching a cold. It gets a little chilly at night. Karkat was about to leave when he stopped and remembered that it wouldn’t be a bad idea to spray himself with some of that cheap perfume he got at the airport in Barcelona. Not that Tavros would care. He’s in the same boat as him – cooking in _classes_ , cooking for _school_ and cooking for _money._ He can’t wait till they get to the cooking with seafood part. That’s when it’s going to get brutal.

Once he was done tying his sneakers, he locked his dorm room and made his way to Tavros’, which is on the lower floor. He knocked on the door and waited for an answer. He didn’t hear one so he knocked again. This time he heard an invitation to come in. Finally. Did he have his headphones on? No, he didn't, as Karkat found out, once he entered the room, since they were nowhere to be found. He assumed that Tavros did tell him to come in, but was too quiet when he said it.

The boy waved at Karkat with a small smile from his bed. This guy has the smoothest, most perfect dark brown Mohawk in the history of Mohawks. Karkat kind of wants to touch it sometimes and then he remembers that that’s childish as fuck. Not that Tavros would say anything if he did. He’s kind of a huge pushover. He’s with a centimeter or two taller than Karkat, with broad shoulders and a constant goofy grin slapped on his tanned complexion. He wasn’t wearing shoes or socks inside and Karkat’s rather observant, so he couldn’t help but notice that there were odd burn scars around his ankles and across his feet, and that he wasn’t wearing his septum piercing. One of the teachers told them to get used to taking them off, because if they want to get seriously into the business, they’ll have to work on not _scaring their customers off_ if they happen to be the ones serving.

“Hey.”

“What’s up?” Karkat asked the _ice-breaking question_ and sat down next to Tavros.

“Nothing much. Just, ah… Relaxing before the concert.” He rubbed at his neck, an obvious sign that he didn’t know what to say.

“You know, you didn’t have to take it off.” Karkat shrugged and he had to force himself to not stare at the burns on Tavros’ feet.

_From where did he get them...?_

“Sorry…?” Karkat pointed to his own nose and Tavros’ eyebrows shot up in understanding “Oh! Uh–”

“That asshole’s as old as the The Great Wall of China. I don’t think he’s aware of the fact that nobody fucking cares about how chefs look. You do you.” He folded his arms over his chest and furrowed his eyebrows “And get a little louder. I can barely hear you when you speak to me.”

They chatted about classes before they decided to take off and see why the music students were so hyped about this thing. Tavros told him that he heard that they were all _freshmen_ and Karkat corrected him that they were all _annoying pricks_. Technically, he hasn’t met many of them and he only knew Dave more personally and that guy’s unbearable.

Eventually, he asked Tavros if he listens to this kind of music. It turned out that he loves rap, at the very least, which came as a surprise to Karkat. He really doesn’t know anything about anyone in this city except for Kanaya. He’s… Genuinely glad that he asked Tavros to come with him. He’s a decent guy and he's quite fun when his self-esteem gets boosted, which isn’t too hard do.

When they arrived, the music had already started playing. Stepping out of the car, Karkat tried to get a glimpse of who was on the small stage. It wasn’t Dave, that’s for sure. Looking at Tavros, who locked his car, he nodded his head over to the crowd as a prompt to get going. The people there didn’t seem to be enjoying themselves much and once Karkat and Tavros found themselves in the middle of the crowd, they understood why.

“This sucks. It sounds like a fucking blender.” Karkat complained and his classmate nodded disappointedly in agreement.

“Tell me about it.” Some girl spoke up next to them and Karkat looked down at her “The guy before that was better. Don’t worry. Not all of them are total failures.” Karkat snorted at how red her eyeballs were.

“Go sober up, pothead.”

“Go suck a dick, fag.”

_How 'creative'._

Where the hell did Dave make him go? He’s going to make him feel bad for dragging Tavros along. _He’s an anxious one; will he be alright in a big stuffy crowd?_ Speaking of Dave, that’s him getting up on the stage with a small handbag. Disks maybe? The music soon stopped after he talked to the guy behind the turntables. They must’ve noticed the displeasure in the public. It’s not like it was _bad_ , it’s was just _unpolished._ Karkat knows that Dave’s okay from what he has heard, but how good is he at keeping a crowd entertained?

“Alright, alright.” He didn’t even give him the chance to say anything? Rude. “That was Noah for you.” The students booed and Dave smiled charmingly; he’s capable of… _moving his fascial muscles_ _?_ “Damn, you guys are merciless.” He turned his head to the guy leaving the stage “I guess you were waiting all along for me.” His cheeky comment was replied to with laughter “I mean, I don’t blame you.” He was talking while setting up and Karkat noticed that the people around him were beginning to brighten up “Ready to dance? I expect you to–” Dave played the first, short track which was Snoop Dogg saying ‘wiggle wiggle wiggle’.

The crowd exploded with laughter and Karkat thought that everyone must be super high to have found that funny. Despite his shitty jokes, when the music started, everyone jumped in synch with Dave’s hand going up. Fine, he admits that he’s good at this. The mood completely changed and the students were evidently having a blast. Even Tavros loosened up. They both pushed forwards so they were in the front line and Karkat waved at Dave who nodded to acknowledge him while beckoning a few people to get their asses up there. Honestly, watching a hip-hop battle was fun, because the students dancing were great at improv and Dave was certainly doing his part. He had mixed in some popular songs in his original work, which definitely enchanted the generic sound of the songs he took, and that’s really what got the public pumped as they sang along to the lyrics, on and off, swaying to the beat. The set up was garbage since the place is small. He’s not complaining, though. They’re just university students. This so isn’t Karkat’s thing, but the energy is contagious.

Yes, everything is fun and games until he’s the one to be invited onstage.

“Come on, Vantas. Get up. You have to. Tavros, you too.” From where do they know each other? “I need both of you here.” Dave said into the mic while lowering the volume of the music.

“No, no. I can’t-” Karkat ignored the demand while Tavros shook his head nervously.

“You don’t have to be so eager.” Dave said sarcastically and moved away from the turntables to get to the edge of the low stage to make it more uncomfortable for them to deny him “Don’t let the public down.”

A few students yelled at them _to_ _get the sticks out of their asses_ and _to get over themselves and get the fuck up._ People were beginning to chant their names and someone pushed at Karkat’s back. That’s when he had to give up. He shot Tavros an apologetic look and got up on stage. The crowd cheered at their little victory and Dave stood between the students with two microphones.

“You know what time it is?” He asked, his gaze shifting from a fidgety Tavros and an irritated Karkat.

Some guy in the crowd screamed ‘sexy time’.

“I feel you, man. But no. Rap battle time, come on!” The students seemed to be pleased with the idea and Karkat was briefly bewildered by how energetic Dave sounded.

_“What?”_

“You heard me. You both know the language of passion. It’s time to spit some sick fires in español.”

Dave handed them the microphones and backed away. The students were even more hyped than before and began yelling _‘ey, ey, ey’_ in a steady rhythm once Dave quickly went to change the beat to a slower and lower one from his laptop, which was connected to the turntables. Karkat looked at Tavros for help. They can’t do this. They’re both too awkward for this, right? _Right?_ Nope. No, they aren’t, because Tavros isn’t shy, as it turns out, he’s just a fucking pushover who really, _really_ likes rap. And Karkat can see that now because he was being torn a new one in his mother language. He hopes the majority doesn’t know Spanish here. Everyone is… So _into_ this. And Karkat isn’t. When it was his turn, his anger had already outweighed his uneasiness. He shoved the microphone in Tavros’ chest, flipped the crowd off, turned around to flip Dave off while hearing an ‘ohhh!’ behind him and jumped off the stage. He was pissed. He’s not good at freestyling and he doesn’t like people looking at him. Call it a bad attitude, but it’s true! Look at him for more than five seconds and there's a high chance that he will bite your head off. Dave should’ve listened to him when he told him that he doesn’t want to do that.

_Where’s that free booze Dave was talking about?_

As for the only vampire surrounded by tons of humans, he called up another person on stage to go against Tavros and had a classmate of his take over so he can go after Karkat. He invited him to come as an apology for his behaviour. He wanted this to be fun for him, because he can see that Karkat studies and works hard and he deserves to chill. And yet, he got carried away in his own entertainment. That was stupid of him.

“Yo, Vantas.” He tapped him on the shoulder once he reached him.

Dave immediately regretted it, because the moment he did that, was the moment he knocked on death’s door. Karkat turned around sharply and glared at him, gritting his teeth and clenching his jaw. Dave was wrong. It’s not rap battle time. It’s execution time.

“I will burn all of your clothes, Dave Strider.”

For some reason, the threat sounded funny to the vampire.

“Wow, if you wanted to see me naked, you could’ve just asked. I’m not ashamed of my bo-” He was interrupted by Karkat pushing him back.

“I hate you. I hate you with every fibre of my being. Do you understand that? Now- Why _the fuck_ did you think it’d be a bright idea to ignore my protests and humiliate me like that, you dick?” Karkat was _seething_ and Dave involuntarily remembered his stash of weapons.

_What is he capable of doing with them?_

“I don’t know, you were having a good time and I thought that you’d be into something like that. I mean, you have a lot of pent up anger inside you, don’t you?”

That sounded less provoking in his head. Karkat clenched both of his fists, as if holding solely onto air as prevention from blowing up in Dave’s face like a ticking bomb.

“You were having fun, weren’t you…?” He asked and Karkat sighed, his shoulders slumping.

“I guess…” He mumbled, finding it somewhat difficult to admit it.

“You _guess?_ You were _smiling_ back there. Talk about creepy.” Karkat gave him the _‘Shut up, Dave’_ look, so he did.

“Just tell me where the beer’s at, douchebag.”

Dave fell into a nervous silence. When Karkat didn’t get a reply, his expression turned stoic.

“There’s no beer, is there?”

“Uh… Yeah.” Dave admitted and sucked his upper lip in.

“Why the hell did you lie about that?”

“Because you wouldn’t have come if I didn’t.” That earned him an irritated groan.

“You are the worst, Dave.”

“Look, stick around, dance, I’ll buy you a drink and we can head back home together.”

Dave didn’t feel too guilty about it and Karkat wasn’t too upset about this either, since he gets angry easily and calms down easily. However, Dave wanted to make this right. He actually enjoys being around him. He didn’t think that he’d ever think that, but here he is, _definitely thinking it._

“You are the last person I’d want to go home with. What part of ‘I hate you’ did you not understand?” Karkat blinked up at Dave, unamused.

“I said I’ll buy you a drink, didn’t I?” Karkat thought about it and eventually gave in.

“Fine.” He sighed and clicked his tongue “But you’re getting me _bottles_ and whatever I want.”

“Sure thing, prince Karkat of Bitchland.”

The rest of the concert went okay. A few students had some really creative tracks to dance to, but nobody else gave the public a show as entertaining as Dave’s. It’s like he’s made for that type of loud life. And it’s true. Dave likes, no, _loves_  being in the spotlight and he’s good at handling a lot of attention.

Of course, with an ego like that.

Dave and Karkat did end up going home together. They went to a supermarket and the cashier was too dead inside to ask for ID cards when they bought small plastic cups, that orthodontists normally get for their job, and a bottle of anisette and alcoholic mint. Dave had no idea what Karkat was planning, but it would seem that his roommate might want both of them to drink. Sitting on the floor of their dorm room after the short drive home, Dave shook his head at Karkat.

“Karkat, I’m not drinking that. It smells exclusively of spirits.”

He may be a vampire, but he still gets influenced by alcohol. It can't kill him, even if he consumes it in big amounts. It's just that he'd rather not drink for various personal reasons.

“Don’t be a bitch. Let me show you what a London Fog is.”

“A London Fog?” He inquired while watching Karkat mix mint and anisette in two of the tiny cups.

“Try it.” Karkat picked up a cup and handed it to Dave, who took it with apprehension “Go ahead.” He could tell that Dave was looking at him distrustfully while smelling it “I dare you to down it in one gulp.”

“N-”

“I got onstage, you drink. Do it.” He downed his own drink quickly to show him “See? Not deadly.”

Dave pursed his lips and hesitated before throwing his head back and drinking it. He put the cup away and coughed once, clearing his throat.

“Fuck. I get why it’s called a London Fog now.” He blinked behind his shades, trying to dissipate the curtain of metaphorical fog that appeared in front of his eyes.

“Yeah. It’s great. I’m making second ones.”

_“No.”_

“Dave Strider.” Karkat put the bottle of mint down “Are you a lightweight?”

“What? Of course not. I just prefer to not drink. It’s unhealthy.”

“If you drink a little it’s fine.” Karkat smirked and his eyes widened, noticing how Dave’s pale face was already going red from being heated up by the drink “Holy shit! You really are a lightweight!”

“Ugh…” Dave slid his hands under his shades and groaned, rubbing at his eyelids.

“More shots for you. I need to train you.”

“You’re an asshole and a drunkard.”

“ _No,_ I’m the one who’ll open your eyes to a whole new world. It’s called not being a drag.”

 

“I regret not changing roommates when I had the chance.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this was worth the wait. I'm sick af, so this is probs shitty. Anyway, Happy New Year. May it be gayer for all our sakes.


End file.
